Monday, October 24, 2005

It is still going on...

Its Monday night and I am still on the Gold Coast and my Pop is still fighting.  I arrived on Saturday lunchtime in time to see him whilst he was barely conscious.  He recognised me and was happy to see me even though he was beyond talking.

The nurses have increased his drugs to relieve the pain and this will keep him unconscious but he "broke through" the drugs on Sunday morning and was awake for a time.  By "awake" he could open his eyes and look at you, but I believe he knew we were there.

Today he still breathes hard and pants and the noise is like a metronome.  Occaisionally he will stop for 30-40 seconds and everyone looks up from whatever they are reading (I have read all the New Ideas and Womens Days from 1999 onwards) and we wonder if he will breathe again.

He does of course and he has been going like this still.  You are proud that he fights so hard but at the same time you want him to pass quickly and peacefully.  I have very mixed feelings at the moment.

I will stay here until the end though and will hopefully be back in Sydney for the weekend.  It is Niki's birthday tomorrow and whilst she is at home and is wonderfully supportive, I just want to be back to help her celebrate.

The Doctor believes that tomorrow will be the last day for Pop, but he can't give any guarentees.

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