Hey man! Where have you been?

Avid Lime Kettle readers and fly by night web surfers alike would have noticed that I haven’t updated Lime Kettles for 5 or so days.  I presume your lack of emails to me about this is because you have all been worried sick that your favourite daily dose of diatribe may have come to an end… (/me checks inbox and still no emails from fans)

But no, it is but for a simple reason Dear Reader… I have been as sick as a dog.

I was talking to my Dad last Wednesday or Thursday and he told me he had spent 4 days in bed and had been really bad.  His only friend in those 4 days was the toilet bowl and he basically felt (and sounded) shit house.  Knowing Dad, I have never seen him take many days off work and so to have a Friday and then a Monday off, he must have been sick.

Then last Thursday I was making comment to my colleagues how a girl in the next department could be heard throwing up her guts in the Ladies.  I know this and that it must have been bad because I could hear her “damaging the Doulton” through the wall between the Ladies and the Gents….

Well that Thursday night I went home from the office feeling a little tired and queasy in the stomach.

Then from Friday to Monday I basically lived on my toilet.  Not meaning to be graphic, but I had the worst gastro I have ever had before.  Normally, I am renowned for my cast iron stomach, but I could do nothing but sleep and trot to the bathroom.

Friday… Saturday… Sunday… all passed very quickly.  Monday came around and again I had to take the day off but I was up a little bit and had breakfast and lunch.

But Monday’s dinner couldn’t be finished and my stomach started churning once again and I found myself up at 3:00am on Tuesday clutching my stomach and with a severe migraine.  (But at least I saw the end of the 3^rd Ashes Test live – there is always a silver lining).

So Tuesday was a right off and Niki had to call in sick for me yet again.

I went to the doctor worried it was something else, but he assured me that it was a virus and that it would pass….

And it has, as I am now back on Carriage 8 heading into the office.  I am sure I have a mountain of work that 3 days unplanned leave can only provide, but at least avid Lime Kettle fans, I am back!